“Be a man!” “You’re not a real man!” “I’m the woman and man of this house!”  These are all statements that some wives have spouted at their husbands during fits of rage.  While I’m sure the intention may be to motivate, the method almost always causes severe conflict.  The entire guy population knows that the quickest way to get a man ready for battle is to question his manhood.  This is the one button that all men have and unfortunately, all women know exactly where it’s located.

Here’s a little secret about male masculinity that wives must know in order to be happily married.  Whether men admit it or not, they tend to define their manhood through how their women perceive them, treat them and respond to them. If there were no women, then there would be no reason to define what a man is.  But we were masterfully created with a need to only find our true selves in our mates.

This means that women hold a great deal of influence in regards to how your man perceives his own masculinity.   A woman’s perception of a man is only that… her perception, which may be based on her father (which may or may not be positive), life experience, or even media.  But when she carelessly voices negative statements about his manhood, she is creating that very thing she is criticizing. 

Learn to appreciate the man that your husband is, instead of criticizing the man you think he is not.  The more you focus on his strengths, the more he will focus on them and then try to do more of those things to please you.  Men are just strangely wired that way.