As a child, who had his share of school fights, I remember the most motivating insult a pre-pubescent boy could hear was, “You fight like a girl!”   Bullies on the sideline would hurl this uninvited comment into the battle with the intention of increasing the intensity of combat.  But now as I’ve grown older, and hopefully wiser, I realize that there is a quite a lot to learn from how a girl fights.  In fact, in marriage, wives should always remember that their femininity actually gives them a powerful advantage in arguments.  Here are three reasons why:

  • Submission is power.  As politically incorrect as this may sound, men want to feel as though they are protecting you.  It is in most men’s social DNA to cover you when you’re hurt or fight for you if threatened.  So in an argument, if a man sees that you are letting down your guards and submitting, he will then go into protective mode.  From this point, you now have the strategic advantage in the debate.  Don’t worry; most men don’t mind yielding to you, as long as he feels like he is taking care of you
  • You have what men want.  Use it to your advantage.  Now don’t misunderstand.  We’re not talking about withholding intimacy or holding your husband emotionally hostage, but men crave the God given sensitivity, sensuality and emotion that you possess. Even during an argument, most men are hoping it will be over soon and that they can get to the make-up session.  Don’t look at this as a negative thing, but let him know you want him to enjoy you, and vice versa, but you’re hurt and you want him to hear you.  Understand what you’re working with.  You have more power in your marriage than you would ever imagine.  Use it wisely.
  • Never argue with him like another man would.   Here is a boundary that is easy to cross in the heat of the battle.  The truth is, you cannot be more masculine or more aggressive than your husband.  If a woman argues like an aggressive male, he may treat you like one.  This will never end well.  Even if he is being passive, don’t take that as a signal to go in for the kill.  Arguing is not the time to destroy one another and remove debate boundaries.  Know your mate.  You know there are some things you should never say.  Don’t use the most emotionally intense arguments as a time to get your point across.  The fact is, your point will not be heard and irreparable damage may be caused.